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It's sad when she's not home." "Yah," admitted Max, reaching out closer to me."She's such a good snuggler, and so warm and just right.Though I read about validation and "active listening" I didn't learn the importance of it. And from watching what works and what doesn't work. My initial impulse was to react with hurt and say, "Well she's not here and I am, so take or leave it, bub." I resisted, and instead said lovingly, "You really want Mama, don't you? I forgot my plan for a moment, and shifted to "reality" saying, "I'm sorry she's not here, Maxie, but I'll snuggle with you." I was thinking, "She's going to be here in ten minutes, it's not that bad!

This I believe is a sign of not only high EQ but of wisdom. "I want Mama," sulked Max, somehow accusing me for being the wrong parent.Validation means to express understanding and acceptance of another person's internal experience, whatever that might be. Validation builds relationships and helps ease upset feelings.Knowing that you are understood and that your emotions and thoughts are accepted by others is powerful. Self-validation is accepting your own internal experience, your thoughts and feelings.We are demonstrating that we will still accept them after they have shared their feelings. How strongly are you feeling that (on a scale of 0-10)? We feel connected with them and they feel connected with us.We let them know that we respect their perception of things at that moment. Just the other day we took a small boy to the doctor's office and I asked him if he was a little bit scared.

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