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She was tired of matching with catfish scammers and sketchy-seeming men. "I just was not reading profiles of guys that really stimulating." She also grew tired of what she calls "the great un-said" — that delicate dance at the beginning of a new relationship when each party tries to determine how long is appropriate to wait to have sex.

Of course, the way people determine this usually has nothing to do with talking about it openly, so it's just an extended guessing game.

This trend continued with the second man Pam met on Ashley Madison.

He was single, too, and "both of guys were really good-looking guys who had a lot going for them," she said.

It was almost like he was apologetic that we met that way." But when they started negotiating how sex would work before the end of their first date, Pam quickly picked up on one huge benefit of meeting people on Ashley Madison: users don't hold back, sexually or otherwise.

"There is liberation in having everyone disclose what they want up front," Pam said.

Pam (whose name has been changed for anonymity) is a 50-year-old divorcée with a rich social life and a demanding job.

She tried to find men to date on and Zoosk, but didn't have much luck.

Where in this forum, it was actually about having sexual needs met." "I would ask him if he was meeting or seeing anyone else, and he would tell me honestly," she said.Online chat rooms have become increasingly popular in the recent years.In fact, there are hundreds of people every day who engage in such activity.It's tough to tell just how many single people are using Ashley Madison to meet other singles.After the site was hacked earlier this year, Gizmodo reported that the site has 31 million male users and only 5.5 million female users — and of those female "users," about 70,000 are bots.




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I should have stopped responding, but I was physically attracted to him⎯something that didn't happen often. If you answered yes to any of these, you might need a list of polite questions you can bring along on your dates.


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