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Being a part of a community that is most simply defined by who you have sex with, a lot of guys have an expectation that you’re down to fool around, and it can be disheartening to be labeled as a letdown.Each time I met a guy out at the bar, I kept wondering: What exactly am I accomplishing by parting ways when the lights come back on?Unfortunately, another tie that binds us together is the continued discrimination, which includes the Food and Drug Administration’s restriction that, to give blood, gay men must abstain from sex for a year.

Then the moments in between, resurfacing for air, staring into each other’s eyes, seeing him smile.

Kissing has become a celebration of who I am, of finding and achieving something I didn’t always think was possible.

I still enjoy kissing, but often I feel as though I’m being left behind when I refrain from going further.

In the wake of the Orlando shooting, it’s impossible to ignore the absurdity of a rule that keeps many queer people from helping their injured peers in a time of great need.

But this is not new — the struggle continues for LGBT people in countless other arenas, including in housing and workplace discrimination and where you can go to the bathroom.




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There are a number of ways to approach these open-ended posts: consider the reading in relation to its historical or theoretical context; write about an aspect of the day’s reading that you don’t understand, or something that jars you; formulate an insightful question or two about the reading and then attempt to answer your own questions; building upon it, disagreeing with it, or re-thinking it.


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Please note that by submitting your question to Petra, you are giving your permission for her to use your question as the basis of her next column, published online at Wonder Women.