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After much foot-dragging and many late night talks, the decision was made to go for it.But before they actually did anything precipitous, like posting in a Poly forum, they discussed these issues: Some have other specific issues that are important to them, but this list is what I’m going to focus on, and trust me, it is plenty.One of our intrepid Unicorn Hunters ran into the idea of swinging/open relationships/polyamory.Much to their mutual surprise, neither party completely dismissed the idea (maybe someone did the first time, but they came back to it later, and finally the idea stuck).First, many but not all situations where people are given the title of “Unicorn Hunter” follow one very specific model.Here are the archetypal “Unicorn Hunters.” The Unicorn Hunters are a male/female couple, the female partner is bisexual while the male partner is heterosexual (mostly), and they are looking to have a woman start dating them together.They told you that you were doing it wrong, that you are bad for wanting to find someone, and that you should go read a book. A “Unicorn” is that rare, mythical figure that many couples look for, a polyamorous, bisexual woman (Yay! ), someone who might want to date both you and your partner. That means that “Unicorn Hunters” are a couple who are looking for that person to join their Dyad, to make a Triad. If you have a conversation with a new-to-Poly couple about what they are looking for and start asking some probing questions, many answers come out that are pretty consistent. You are willing to listen/read/learn and figure this out to get it right. There are some challenges between where you are now and where you want to go (likely, I’m making assumptions too!A Triad is a Poly relationship where three people are all in relationship with each other, as opposed to a “V”, where two of the people aren’t connected with each other directly. People who are in this position have very predictable challenges and concerns. ), but anything in life that is worth a damn has challenges before it.

), and what you can do to get what you want without creating dysfunctional relationships and hurting people.

This is one of the most sought-after arrangements when a couple new to polyamory looks to open their relationship.

Couples usually discover such a woman is almost impossible to find. So, you just posted on this really cool Poly forum that your friend told you about.

However, as you might guess, I’m going to point out that there are some problems.

One of the first problems is when you don’t talk about your preexisting expectations up front.

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