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How can God redeem and save my life if he’s not even able to help me maintain a healthy weight?Somehow, my body is sizable enough to undermine the power of the Gospel.Part of this has to do with basic demographics of the church today: For men, it’s a buyer’s market.With the surplus of godly, talented, accomplished Christian women, men can afford to be pickier, holding tightly to standards of physical attraction, sense of humor, similar interests, all the way to taste in coffee. Here’s why we chose to give birth to black triplets.] And if you are overweight, you can’t remain that way.I am good at writing and making jokes and cleaning. I would love to pass my days maneuvering a minivan full of foster kids to soccer games and recitals and tutoring.None of these things would be diminished because of my size, yet none of them seem to matter because of my size.It feels like things should be different in the church.

I’m sure much of what I’m writing will feel familiar to others struggling with weight, regardless of their faith walk.

The natural assumption is that I want to be married, so to still be single at 27 makes me the object of pity, scrutiny, or, at worse, apathy.

While I do dream of marriage, I feel helpless in pursuing it when I’ve only experienced rejection from men in the church.

I see it in the faces of guys I’m meeting for the first time after being matched on e Harmony, even though we’ve exchanged weeks of witty banter and embarrassing confessions.

I hear it in the concerned tones of mentors and parents who repeat phrases such as, “You’ve got such a pretty face,” and “I know you want to be married someday. ” [How the search for a soulmate went from church potlucks to Tinder] Every ounce of my being cringes, because they’re probably right. I am talented and opinionated and passionate and valuable.

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