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However, he said he doesn’t always feel this courtesy from other members of the church and the church culture in Utah.

“I’m in a ward that’s kind of a weird hybrid YSA mid-singles ward, and so everyone there is kind of in the same boat.

Vandagriff said he has some older friends who lie about their age on Tinder.

Though he said this would be an awkward conversation to have later on in the date, he understands why those friends do it.

BYU graduate Rebekah Arnesen, 26, said she agrees the pressure to marry young is much lower in places outside of the “BYU bubble.” She said people outside the Provo area are usually more open to people who are older and dating, divorced and dating again, or people who have made mistakes and are trying to get back into dating other members of the church and living church standards.

“It was great in the time of my life when I was there, but it really did become time for me to move on because it was impacting my self-esteem.” Arnesen lived in the Provo area for about six years of her single adult life, and said she didn’t feel a lot of understanding from her peers.

Now, she lives in Pleasant Grove and said the median age in her YSA ward is about 24-25.

She said she has heard people are even more open outside of Utah, even within Mormon culture.

BYU assistant professor Justin Dyer said part of the reason people feel judgment or pressure if they are not married during their undergraduate years comes from the idea of on-time and off-time transitions, where people in a particular culture believe “certain things should happen in a certain order.” He said every culture develops timelines, and that they are not unique to Mormons.




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