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My date banters back, “Your hair, it’s transforming right before my eyes! As we enter the restaurant, I excuse myself in search of a mirror to manage my mane. He turns around, flashing a gorgeous smile, his sapphire eyes sparkling in the dimly lit space. Me—and my big hair—are standing face-to-face with Alec Baldwin. I desperately seek a pin, elastic, anything to tie back my haphazard do. I take his lead, forget about my hair, forget about Alec and confidently enjoy yet another great meal. Stepping into Starbucks, smiles and curls abound, he spots me and waves. Did he even notice that I look different, very different? As I step up the stairs, I again remember to approach the date as a confident curly.

I think I know why, so I mumble some lame excuse explaining why my hair is curly, not straight like my picture. I purposefully forget my clips, headbands, and emergency-fix spritz so I’ll be forced to accept any twists and turns the day may bring. I can’t see it, but suddenly I feel my stick-straight locks expand, to the right and left, up and down, like they’re waving hello. I’m on my way back and tap the back of a towering man, who’s partially blocking the archway entrance to the dining room. Flushed and flustered in frizz, I mumble hello with my hands over my head and race back to the table, my cheeks are flushed like vine-ripe tomatoes. Bachelor #4: Music Executive A week later, I schedule early evening drinks at a rooftop bar.

See: 7 Questions To Ask On A First Date It could also depend on culture.

He looks away and then faces me again, head slowly turning side to side, like a mime silently asking if I’m the same woman in the profile. Maybe he would have been aggressive regardless of a woman’s hairstyle, or maybe he was simply looking for love at breakneck speed. What I do know is that when it comes to voting for curly or straight, if a man says it depends, perhaps it really does. Stepping into a date with a smile can make all the difference.

He begrudgingly admits to leaning on the straight side. I’m more nervous now, but there’s no time to think.

And when you can maneuver your mane in either direction, you have the option of changing your visual impression when meeting someone new. Newly single in New York City, I joined a popular online dating service and posted two profiles. The first profile included a picture of my hair flat-ironed straight. After one month showcasing the straight profile and the next month curly, more than twice as many men responded to the straight look. If they reach out to my straight profile, I would meet them as a curly, and vice versa. I’m nervous on the entire cab ride to the restaurant, wondering if my date will even recognize me.

And while none of my dates developed into long-lasting connections, the experiment was enlightening.

My family is from Argentina, and the men from similar cultural backgrounds—like the Cuban and Italian men I met—seemed happy and familiar with curlies like me, even in my most awkward, frizz-filled moments.

Bachelor #2: Italian Business Owner It’s a late-afternoon lunch date near the shore, so I decide to show up straight (just like he expects) knowing the beach air always performs tricks on my tresses. After the first bite of risotto and sip of Sauvignon Blanc, it happens. (He read my brief profile.) Then, I learn Cocoa Puffs (breakfast) and Ring Dings (late night snack) are part of his daily rituals. Bachelor #6: Italian Model It’s month two, time to replace the straight photos with curly ones. In his email, he mentions that he likes my curly photo.

We order drinks and he finally seems to relax, as he shares stories of his mountain-climbing adventures. But we never quite recover from that fumbled first impression. The focus turns to fitness and nutrition, which he acknowledges is very important to me. “Whether it’s curly or straight, it doesn’t matter—as long as there’s enough hair to hold onto! I laugh, not quite knowing how to respond to that one. Then, finally, one response catches my eye and interest.




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