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I think I would like the soft versions of the apporach.Like ana, I think I would interpret them as not very suave and I find the not-so-suave approach very appealing.Hmm would be interesting to hear the philosopher bloggers on PT debate this.I never said people are poor victims or robots, but I stand by my points and as I stated in a previous post, people are different, thus they have differing ideas as to what constitutes being honest and open and not feeling that the person who is asking for a date is doing so under false pretences.

That made me REALLY nervous because I was thinking the whole time "did he really NOT mean to ask me out? Did I somehow just make a big faux pas by assuming that this was a covert attempt at a date?I have a hard time with this approach when it is used on me, especially repeatedly. So if you are too nervous the techniques are a fun reminder to get back to natural friendly ways as if you were friends. My friends and I don't communicate in this way, we are very straight forward with one another.I have an ex who still will always say "Let me know when you want to ...." instead of just outright asking. This is what confident people usually do and confidence and naturalness and playfulness are usually welcome in most social circles -and especially in friendship and dating. In addition, I understand that everybody is different and some people are shyer and more reserved than others.e will do this repeatedly and honestly I have started to take it as he is not really truly interested in hanging together. If the two people like each other this is way to get the ball rolling which makes everyone happier... Nonetheless, I feel being as open, friendly and honest as you can be would be much more appropriate than the majority of the approaches advocated by Jeremy, most of which just come across as insincere.I have been able to get him to ask outright and re-shape his approach, but it takes months. It is weird, so I see it as disingenuine and manipulative. If someone I liked used these techniques on me, in the inside I would laugh... But I understand other people have more serious bents. When people are shy and they like someone they could feel so nervous that it could be very difficult for them to seem open, friendly and honest even if they are.

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