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Hence, the rule of thumb that people in recovery not date for the first year of their sobriety.The 33-year-old man who studiously stayed away from dating for the first six months re-entered the relationship scene as a fully committed and engaged member of his treatment program.It can mean missing out on parties, it can mean being forced to cope with life’s struggles and challenges stone cold sober, and it can also mean being alone.quotes a 26-year old former heroin addict as saying that “getting sober is pretty lonely.” The apparent cure for the loneliness is often sought in likeminded people.

A person in recovery can still well remember the tension and drama of a relationship affected by substance abuse.

But his first forays into sober dating were disastrous; he dated “messed up speed freaks” for five years, eventually coming to understand that even without a drink or drug in his hand, the lure of spending time with people who were on drugs themselves was attractive – even, to use his words, “sexy.” Top of Page Why is the pull so strong?

As any person going through recovery will say, being sober can be incredibly difficult.

Without that sense of identity, it is all but impossible to form balanced, healthy connections with other people.

Therapy and aftercare support go a long way in restoring bridges that were burned by the addiction, but dating requires much more work (and time) than simply rekindling a friendship.




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“We look for so many other ways in which we’re compatible with potential partners, why shouldn’t phones be on the list? “Where a person lives, what car they drive, and what they do for a living are all things we weigh before embarking on a relationship.


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