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At 20, she had me and for the next three years, my father harassed her over money (she made much more than him); he also let her know that, while she may have had straight As in high school, he, a junior high dropout, was the smarter of the pair.By 24, my mother was divorced and saddled with a kid while my dad returned to being an eligible bachelor who continued dating young adults.“I don't think it's your writing he's interested in,” she said.I thought back to the white-haired gentleman at the bar who was easily old enough to be my father and shook my head. Over the next couple of weeks, Bob sent me several samples of his writing without a trace of any innuendo or flirtation.However, their age difference could not compensate for my father's insecurity over being with someone who had achieved more academically and professionally than he had.This revelation soured me against dating any man who was more than a few years older. Last year, after a hiatus from online dating, I decided to return.At 33, I found it much harder to meet men than it had been in my early twenties.

At the meeting, we spent over an hour discussing his writing.

Shortly after I completed college, my dad confided in me that he had never loved my mother.

When I asked why he married her, he told me it was because he was ready to have a kid and she was young and pretty - and if he had a daughter, he wanted her to be pretty, too.

(And though he constantly disparaged her for it while they were together, he also grudgingly admitted he chose her for “school smarts", too).

Plus, being so young, she was “more likely to put up with him,” he said.

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