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I will not count off stares, glares, and eye rolls we get on the subway from white and black people alike, or waste my energy on our white gay acquaintances that reduce our interracial relationship to a wild Mandingo fantasy and a conversation about penis size.Instead, let's examine the simple, but surprisingly painful act of dining out.Unsure what "it" was, he began to explain that the wait staff was completely ignoring his existence, just like in every other restaurant we had gone to before.I was jarred as I quickly learned that my point of view was truly one-sided, as what I was saw as polite service, he experienced as a fundamental and continual disrespect.Over the years, the startling consistency of the manner in which I am addressed while he is ignored has become a quasi joke between us.While we may be tempted to get up and scream when I am yet again automatically handed the check at the end of a meal, as my skin color must clearly imply that I am the paying member of our party, he would instantly be branded "angry black man" and we would only feed into the stupidity that is so pervasive.For these types of people it could be intimidating to engage with the "unknown."Clearly this just applies to "some" white men, as the question asks.There certainly are some more open minded people out there as well.

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mentions, there's an apprehension from both racial perspectives but often for different reasons.

The biggest reason, in my opinion, is that people are concerned about what others may think.

After all, the questions asked and the specials listed were strictly addressed to me while he was not even acknowledged.

I confess that at first I was tempted to view his remarks as hyper-sensitivity and assign the behavior of the staff to the fact that I'm an out-going personality who naturally drew their attention, but I did not want to be dismissive to what was clearly a painful feeling that someone that I cared about was experiencing.

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