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When family, friends and neighbors help out during the week and provide for the needs of the mourners, an atmosphere of love, caring and kindness is created.

This helps to soften the pain that the mourner so deeply feels.

And just as a soul always strives upward for what is good and right, so too a flame burns toward the heavens.

Thus a memorial candle is lit in the shiva house and remains burning publicly 24 hours per day throughout the entire week.

Again, shiva is a deeply personal time of reflection, coming to terms with loss and grief, and contemplating the inner spiritual dimensions of life.

The workplace draws our thoughts and feelings outward, thus if at all possible, should be avoided.

At first she felt numb and not perceptively alive, yet gradually she emerged as a butterfly ready again to fly.The loss is forever, but the psychological, emotional, and spiritual healing that takes place at every stage is necessary and healthy.This article will examine the following topics: Stage one: shiva Sitting shiva Arranging the shiva house After the cemetery Timing of shiva Paying a shiva call Prayer services Leaving a shiva house The three day "shiva" Getting up from shiva Stage two: shloshim Stage three: the one-year period Annual remembrances: yizkor Yahrtzeit Unveiling of tombstone Visiting the cemetery Grief and bereavement After the burial, the immediate mourners return to a home called the "shiva house," to begin a seven day period of intense mourning. This week is called "sitting shiva," and is an emotionally and spiritually healing time where the mourners sit low, dwell together, and friends and loved ones come to comfort them with short visits referred to as "shiva calls." A person sits shiva after having lost a parent, spouse, sibling, or child.We experience an overall feeling of physical discomfort as we totally focus on the soul of the one who has departed.We de-emphasize our own physicality by not pampering our bodies, so we remember that what we are missing at this time is not the physical person who is gone, but the essence of who that person was, which of course is their soul.




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